


Fair Trial

by Piratenkuh



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, How the Geep was sold, I swear I just wanted to write fluffy smut but then I thought "hm, M/M, Sex, Smoking, Sorry but not really, Spirit House, Substance Abuse, early morning sex, humanz, mentions of substance and alcohol abuse, phase 4, plot would be nice" and it turned into drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 08:28:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15287694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piratenkuh/pseuds/Piratenkuh
Summary: "It has probably been silly of him to assume they could keep a safe distance under these circumstances. It was just a matter of time one of them or both would slip when things seemed remotely effortless."A take on relationship rebuilding.





	Fair Trial

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I can't believe I managed to write a second fic!  
> This took me rediculously long tbh and first I only wanted to write smut. But when I thought about adding plot, it turned into something that might as well be the set up for a much longer fic idea I submitted on Anon to 2doc blog because I never thought I'd have the time and courage to write it down (http://whatamessz.tumblr.com/post/175648620741/18-hey-r-u-still-taking-in-fic-ideas-that-most#notes).  
> I have now some better developed ideas for that fic and feel more motivated again, but still lack the time and am unsure about how to write from Murdoc's POV.  
> Also I'm still looking for people who like to beta my fics or who I can discuss ideas with since I'm very insecure about my english and everything else. If you are interested and 18+, shoot me a message here or on http://whatamessz.tumblr.com/. 
> 
> Also: Abuse and manipulation isn't romantic (but I'm not sure if this comes across in my writing since it's 2D's POV), so if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, pls seek out help. You don't deserve this.
> 
> All of that being said, have fun now and enjoy my writing attempts.  
> Comments and kudos always appreciated! <3

It is somewhen in these early hours that make everything between them feel a bit unreal and impossible. Somehow like the world outside exists but doesn’t at the same time. Like a dimension where everybody still awake is alone and everything is frozen or just… too still. 2D’s head swims and a burning sensation behind his eyelids and temples indicates his lack of sleep. His stomach sends him contradicting signals where it's churning because the last meal lies back far too long now, but the mere thought of food does the very same thing since it’s still way to early for any kind of breakfast.

The light that seeps through the black curtains and drips onto the hardwood floor looks grey and carries a strange and distant kind of eeriness. Not menacing, like back at Kong with its Zombies that would usually crawl back into their graves with these first rays of daylight or the deep blue darkness of his bull’s eye window at Plastic Beach that held the promise of fear, just uncanny. The only sign the world probably wouldn’t stay like this forever is the chorus of overactive singing voices from what sounds like at least a thousand invisible birds outside. A very melodious cacophony though. But too idyllic to fit his mood.

2D sighs, dissatisfied. Sleep still feels miles away, although they’ve probably done enough this past night of what could be considered exercise to deserve it. He can smell his own sweat and the smoke of a slowly dying Lucky Lung that is rising from somewhere behind his back, but otherwise everything is suspiciously quiet. Cautiously, 2D turns on his other side just to find the picture he had anticipated became true. Murdoc was, what appeared to be fallen asleep in a half sitting, half lying state on his pillow pile, a still lit cigarette hanging askew between his lips. It consists half out of ash already and the burning end is dangerously tipping over, a few flakes of ash scattered across the devil tattoo on the bassists slowly rising and falling chest. One hand is resting above his rib cage, fingers still loosely curled around the lighter.

2D picks the remains of the cig from Murdoc’s slack mouth before he can burn himself. He flicks off the ash and smokes what’s left of it while he starts ruminating again about the past few months.

At this point, he finds returning to these kinds of thoughts, all too centered around Murdoc, hard to endure. He knows often tends to overthink things, but now he is torn between obsession and denial. His mind feels like a carousel, turning the same rounds again and again and again, just in different daytimes that shed different light on the situation. He should be the operator, but he’s just sitting on one of the pastel colored ponies while the operator refused to take the carousel to a hold. And now, he must take their shared last night into account too.

It was funny and also so dump how everything feels almost alright when they just fuck. How Murdoc was gentle when 2D needs him to be or rough when he wants him to be and vice versa. They are not only functioning, but resonating when they are in bed together, working on music or on stage. At times, it feels intimate even, but every time the thought of a right or wrong rating to that feeling pops into his mind, he just tries very hard to suppress it. He knows with certainty however, that at least the second and third of these scenarioas had been among the reasons about which he had agreed to record a new album as the singer of Gorillaz in the first place. He also had missed it, this kind of work and the creative flow with other people. As much as he loved making music itself, he still can’t imagine ever being part of another band and even more than that he had missed Russel and Noodle. He has been overjoyed to find out they felt more or less the same – apart from an eligible skepticism towards their bassist’s motivations and capabilities – when they reunited as a band.

However, it had taken much more time to admit to himself that, first, there were still feelings of a deeply unsettling and daunting nature regarding Murdoc and, second, that ‘complicated’ would be an understatement to describe these feelings.

When it became clear and decided that they would get back together as Gorillaz and settle into a new headquarter in Detroit this time, all their remaining props and band equipment had been gathered up for moving and further use in a storage unit near London. It was approximately around this time when 2D realized it was really going to happen: They would be a band again, they would be musicians again. He would live with Murdoc again. Then, in a very drunk and panic fueled haze, he had sold their old Geep on eBay one night without telling anyone. He knew there were memories attached to the thing that even meant something to Murdoc. Initially he had thought about burning the car, but when it occurred to him that their insurance would probably just cover the damage, 2D had decided on his spontaneous Plan B and donated the money that came out of the sell to Alcoholics Anonymous UK. Until today he’s only half sure why this was the first purpose that came to his mind when he was contemplatingfor three whole minutes on what would annoy Murdoc the most. When he’d found a buyer for the vehicle he was just laughing hysterically for ten minutes straight before he needed something to calm him down. That was the last time in a long period his anger and spite had spiked up that much.

After that incident, 2D had completely ignored Murdoc the first two weeks they met in person and he had let Noodle do all the communication on his behalf until she coaxed him to at least negotiate over his own contracts in an official and 'safe' environment. As probably childish as this behavior came off, it had been either that or go into a solid state of panic from the huge tangled mess of unsolved issues and now even guilt he had accommodated towards Murdoc.

Nothing, obviously not even what he had learned in his various attempts on therapy, could have had him prepared to meet him again face to face. 2D had suddenly seen himself confronted with the possibility to finally say everything to Murdoc he was ever just able to phantasize about during the years of their time apart. But he also saw himself confronted with the fact that he didn’t feel the need to say these things anymore. His anger, most of it, was nearly burned up and his hurt felt strangely inappropriate after all these years. If he knew anything, then it was that he didn’t want to be the person on who’s internal conflicts a reunion would falter. This was too important of a chance, this was too good for them as Gorillaz.

In retrospective, when he was imprisoned on Plastic Beach, it wasn’t even quite hate he had felt all the time. Predominantly, he had mourned Noodle’s assumed death and his own situation more than anything else. Quite a number of his memories of their time together were also packed in the cotton soft blur caused by a sketchy amount of Xanax and Acetaminophen. Or every so often just rum. There had been a lot of rage too, resentment even, but also despair and sometimes pity for Murdoc’s so painfully visible broken, right out insane state. But then again, they all had missed Noodle terribly and everything that had happened to them - the pirates, the Boogieman and Cyborg’s malfunctioning - had undoubtedly been Murdoc’s fault, most of all.

So, when they reunited, it was more that he didn’t have had a single clue on where or what terms to restart their strained relationship. He only had this battered treasure trove of memories and experiences and no idea in what state Murdoc was in now. Uncharacteristically so, Murdoc wasn’t pushing for anything. He had waited for their reconnection over their work on the songs for Humanz and it had come as an almost natural process. Maybe an insidious process, if he considered that in the beginning he still didn’t want to spend more time in the studio with Murdoc than absolutely necessary due to the bad flashbacks the situation brought back. He doesn’t know how Noodle was able to forgive Murdoc or if she really had done so, the two of them seem to have their own deal going on and Murdoc is especially tame in her presence. But the universal consensus up until now just seems to be, that no one would address the fucked-up events between El Mañana and the end of Plastic Beach to openly. Like this, they went on and got along and over time, 2D just tried the same. Their new music made him realize there were bigger and more important problems in the world right now than their little universe in that rundown house they inhabited momentarily. After all, it seems to work out, despite the fragile base of, what he more thinks is a truce than a reforged bond right now.

In fact, Murdoc didn’t seem to be as insufferable as he was years before. Sure, he was a mean and narcissistic prick whenever he could, his alcoholism and several other nasty addictions hadn’t really decreased (quite the opposite, from what it looks like) and his mood swings still are a noticeable parameter to their everyday life. But so far, even when he dragged him down verbally on a regular basis, he hadn’t physically harmed 2D once. And so far, there were no criminal organizations or legal institutions on their heels. Just the part with the supernatural entities was debatable, but nothing they weren’t used to and maybe it wasn’t even Murdoc’s fault this time. With enough alcohol or whatever else he needs in his system to socially function, Murdoc even managed to pull himself together with the collaborating artists around. They didn’t really have to kidnap or blackmail anyone this time, it was more of a running gag now... _Very_ funny. If you squint hard enough, Murdoc even has something close to soft moments and tries to reminisce about old times more often. Like that one time when Noodle was still little and found Murdoc’s collection comprising of spell books and “adult literature” and didn’t understand why they wouldn’t read any of that to her as a bedtime story since the pictures looked so interesting. Russel was very unamused about the fact that she was able to find this crap so easily. Stuff like this. 2D isn’t sure if Murdoc is like this now because he becomes old and sentimental or if he had brought this up because he was high on something and his frequent and heavy substance abuse is finally taking its toll on his brain capacity. He thinks about this only half out of malevolence. Of course, he never voices out any of these concerns. When he thinks about it, he doesn’t even mind these things. It’s just nothing he’s used to or wanted to get used to at first.

Over the time, they got closer again, got used to each other’s presence again, even if it was uncomfortable. 2D was still wary and expecting backlash, but even when they roasted each other in the interviews, nothing ever truly came back afterwards and so it had happened that they even spend some time together, just the two of them, occasionally. First solely for work reasons. Later… for company? Out of habit?

It has probably been silly of him to assume they could keep a safe distance under these circumstances. It was just a matter of time one of them or both would slip when things seemed remotely effortless. The past had proven that frequently. And naturally they slipped… That was how they ended up in Murdoc’s bed this night.

He gets torn from his train of thoughts completely when Murdoc suddenly wakes himself through a loud and particularly nasty sounding snore from his broken nose. He’s trying to sit up a bit more and mumbling incoherent words that end in a “Musta’ been fall’n ‘sleep,” and 2D realizes just now that he has started to bite his fingernails in addition to the cigarette. In lack of an ash tray, he stubs its bud out in an empty wine glass at his bedside before he turns to face Murdoc again. He tries to shake the anxious feeling from his heart with a cocky smile. After all, he wasn’t in this by accident alone, he also wanted to find something out and that was, if Murdoc was worth all of this. “Nice to have you among the living again, you disgusting old man,” he welcomes him with a mischievous chuckle. He watches Murdoc raking a hand through his thick fringes and how he takes a deep breath, eyes still closed. “Mornin’ t’ya too, sunshine,” he answers, still sounding somewhat absent. 2D wasn’t sure if he had even registered the rather unkind salutation, but him responding in an affectionate way rather than with an insult brings an inconvenient tug to his heart.

“Why are you still awake, bluebird?” he asks and tosses the lighter sloppily to the floor.

“If I wouldn’t be, you would’a burned the house down by now with your cigarette,” 2D simply replies matter-of-factly.

“Uhn… I see,” the bassist growls, the will to go back to sleep soon overly obvious in his gruff voice. 2D, suddenly determined to exploit the overtired state Murdoc was in a bit more, wiggles closer. Furthermore unprompted, Murdoc then even takes him in his arm and together they slide down from the pillow pile into a more reclining position. The tug on his heart starts to form a tight knot. He can feel something inside of him melt. Why was this always happening so easily? He starts to feel light headed and his heartrate sparks up. He thinks of his resolutions. He didn’t want to be so easy to turn around anymore… He wants to be a person who just takes what they want…

“Muds,” 2D breaks the silence after a while. When Murdoc cracks open an eye and raises an inquisitive eyebrow, he continues with a voice that sounds much more pleading than he’s intending, “Would you sleep with me one more time?”

A hearty yawn isn’t quite the kind of answer 2D expects. “Damn, you insatiable little slut, you still don’t have enough after tonight?” Murdoc’s gruff voice has an affectionately mocking undertone that sends shivers down 2D’s spine. “Don’t you feel like a... milk bar after happy hour or somethin’? Because this ‘disgusting old mans’ knees scream to please take a fucking break.”

So Murdoc had heard the little insult and was trying to turn that against 2D’s request. But he doesn’t feel like giving up so easily. He smiles coyly and averts his eyes. “Please Muds. Want you close…” he whispers and places a hand over Murdoc’s wrist, toying with the soft black hair there. He really means it, he realizes. Damn.

“You don’t even have to move much. Let’s just lay on our sides,” he proposes and starts caressing the bassist’s fingers with featherlight strokes. Murdoc, to face him better, rolls onto his side with what looks and sounds like quite some amount of effort since it’s accompanied by several cracks from several bones and an agonized groan. It has been a long night, indeed.

He looks searchingly into 2D’s black and equally tired eyes and just a second before he can become actually nervous about that, Murdoc’s gaze shortly flickers down to his blanket covered mid region. “Could use a little help with that, then,” he just says.

2D smiles, can’t help it to be a genuine smile, and bends over to engage him in a lazy kiss he puts all the longing into he doesn’t allow himself to feel otherwise. His hand wanders down the covers and between Murdoc’s legs. His dick is entirely soft at this point, but 2D slowly and lovingly strokes it back into full hardness once again while their kiss deepens. The tip of his tongue starts to slide exploringly over jagged teeth and he feels Murdoc teasingly licking back just a little until he lets out a hiss when 2D’s thumb circles over his wet slit to smear some of the precome over the tip. When he finds the spot full of nerves right below the head and stimulates it expertly and painfully slow with his thumb, he drinks in all the clipped moans that escape from deep within Murdoc’s throat.

With the arm, on which 2D wasn’t still lying, he fumbles behind his back until he obviously finds what he had looked for under one of the pillows. When he thrusts the punny banana flavored condom into 2D’s hand, the singer feels already hot and bothered by himself. “Just want you deep inside of me right now,” he murmurs and looks how the other’s eyes widen a bit while he slides the condom over Murdoc in one swift motion. Then he just turns around with a smile at the corner of his lip.

He's a bit surprised when Murdoc, instead of taking him instantly, pulls him closer first with a light tuck, a hand resting over his chest, enclosing his left nipple between two fingers and lazily toying with it. He starts to nip at the nape of 2D’s back, then grazing his teeth over the sensible spot right behind his ear, making him quiver and whimper in expectation. Once again 2D could hear Murdoc reaching around somewhere in the bed until he heard the acquainted sound of a bottle getting uncapped. Murdoc, with his skilled hands, somehow must have managed to squeeze some lube onehandedly into his palm to lubricate the condom. All the while he sucked little love bites into 2D’s slightly maltreated shoulders and nape.

2D doesn’t need much more preparation after the many times they did it tonight, so he wiggles back his hips until he can feel Murdoc’s cock again. Murdoc grabs 2D’s knee pit and drapes his leg over his own hip purposefully before he aligns himself with his entrance and pushes in very slowly. 2D grips the pillow his head is resting on and lets out a sigh. His eyes fall shut and he tries to breathe conscious, deep and controlled breaths through the process.

“You alright, Stu? You tell me if it’s too much and I stop.”

2D just shakes his head. “Go on please, I want you whole,” he moans and Murdoc starts to roll his nipple between his fingers again, while he pushes deeper and deeper inside him, the feeling warm and familiar. In this moment, 2D wants to enjoy everything of this. All of this feels intense and serene in these slow and early morning hours. It makes him even forget his aggravating train of thoughts from earlier, at least for the moment. He forces his hips to keep still and just takes in every inch of Murdoc’s cock with indulgence until they reach the base. Murdoc is panting in 2D’s ear and their chests are rising in deep breaths together. For a moment, they both hold entirely still, relishing this and each other. The feeling of closeness so strong it almost overwhelms 2D and he suddenly feels a treacherous sting in his eyes. He reaches for Murdoc’s free hand that was resting on his knee to pull it over his belly and intertwine their fingers tightly.

“Fuck me,” he breaths out shakily after a while and Murdoc, obliging this wish and starting to move his hips in a slow and deep rhythm, guides their hands down simultaneously to pay attention to 2D’s dick as well with careful, up-and-down movements.

None of them says a word this time. No dirty talk, no sappy comments, not even a name coming over their heated lips. Just their mixed-up panting and occasional moans and still the obnoxiously loud birds outside. Murdoc traces his tongue along 2D’s hairline and down his neck, sending a prickling sensation with it. He quickens his pace when he starts to suck a mark into his shoulder. 2D can feel a thin layer of sweat emerging on his skin, a few droplets pooling along his spine as they continue their rhythm, the sheets shifting and wrinkling beneath their hips. His toes start so curl and uncurl and a very distinctively high-pitched moan slips from his mouth. Murdoc’s hand above his tightens too and their motions on his dick become slightly more uncontrolled, so 2D shoves their fingers away.

“Top me please, can you do that?” he requests breathlessly. “Ever the bloody pillow prince,” Murdoc chuckles, followed by an unsatisfied moan when he briefly slides out of 2D, but he lets go of his hand and nipple to grab his hips instead and turns him onto his belly. 2D smiles complacent and props himself up with the pillow he had clung to. Murdoc is practically laying on top of him, but when he reenters him without much effort, his hips have a way better angle now to fully reach 2D’s prostate and “yeah, just like that!”

2D feels a tension building up in his body when Murdoc’s thrusts come in shorter intervals. He stops caressing 2D’s neck with his lips in lieu of resting his forehead between his shoulder blades. He pants and breaths hard down his spine now and it makes him shiver. His nipples harden and his dick twitches in response, too. It’s trapped between the sheets and Murdoc’s determined thrusts now, so it doesn’t take long until he feels the orgasm coming on again and his balls tighten pleasantly. His back is arching into Murdoc’s body and he can tell that Murdoc is not too far from his climax too by how erratic his movements get, but still, the wave of pleasure hits 2D first and he comes with a protracted moan, releasing his seed into the blankets. Murdoc rocks him through it before pulling out shortly after and rolling on his back. 2D’s heartrate is still at it's peak and he can hear the blood flowing in his ears, but he turns around to relieve Murdoc too. It takes only a few more strokes until the bassist comes, biting his lip groaning and one hand tightly clawing at 2D’s hip. Murdoc tosses off the condom after he's finished and they are lying side by side for a while, Murdoc on his back and 2D occupying his arm again, until their quick and shallow breaths slowly return to normal. 

“You are…” Murdoc starts wonkily after a while, but he doesn’t finish the sentence. “I am what?” 2D asks, confused. Murdoc watches him for a moment, not answering, he just turns slightly and brushes a strand of damp blue hair from 2D’s brow. This confuses him even more, but when he wants to demand what that was about, Murdoc carefully releases his hip from his tight grip and retreats his arm from under him. He turns around then, leaving 2D to face his back. He can feel his face scrunching up, but he doesn’t want to ask the bassist to be held, so he turns on his other side too. It doesn’t take long until he can hear soft snores coming from Murdoc again. 2D can feel his own pool of seed becoming cold and sticky in his back.

He ponders about staying for a while, still not feeling tired enough and maybe just clinging to Murdoc’s back and see if the affection will be reciprocated again when he wakes up. He doesn't know if that’s what Murdoc expects but he's tempted to try and see if maybe everything would be a little more alright in the ‘morning’… whenever that would be for them. But when he tries to shut his eyes, his gaze falls on a piece of cloth draped over something that looks like a drawer or a pile of boxes.

He knows, he had seen this thing the whole evening and even the few times he played the piano in Murdoc'S room, but only now it comes really to his attention. As messy as Murdoc’s lifestyle usually was, since they lived in the house in Detroit, he had furnished his room in a pretty neat and stylish way. To imagine there were still unpacked boxes under that cloth appeared somehow strange to 2D and he grows more and more curious the longer he thinks about it. Finally uncomfortable enough, he decides to get up and examine the pile to satisfy his curiosity. When he fights his way out of the tangled blankets – proud of himself for not tripping – he throws a cautious look back at Murdoc, but the bassist sleeps tight now, sprawled on his belly and snores getting louder than the now declining bird chirps. Slowly he walks up to the construct and, with a last glance back to Murdoc, lifts the heavy black sheet.

His face suddenly falls and it feels like an ice cube is sliding down his neckline. What he had thought to be crates really were surveillance monitors. Every one of them showing a grainy black-and-white picture of a room in their house. Of their private rooms. Like back at Plastic Beach, the camera in 2D’s was positioned to give a perfect view on his bed. He felt sick to the core and turned back to Murdoc in bewilderment, who still seems to be unfazed in his sleep. He starts to shake, to many emotions and thoughts crushing down on him at once. His knees start to buckle.

He has to go. He has to leave this room immediately. He turns around, not bothering to put the cloth back where it was and gathers his clothes together with shaking hands. His head spins and he stumbles out of the door, somehow managing to close it moderately enough so that Murdoc wouldn’t wake up. The last thing he wants now is to face him again. He dresses in the corridor and doesn’t know what to do. He has trouble comprehending how the situation had changed into this so quickly. He can’t go back to his room, not now that he knew there were cameras there, but he is to much in shock to think of anything else right now, so he rummages through the kitchen until he a yellow hoodie from Russel hanging over the couch attracts his attention. He puts it on because it looks like comfort in that moment and leaves the house into the early morning without a real plan.

His heart is beating like crazy and he walks around aimlessly, the sun inevitably rising further. There are a few people and cars passing by already, heading probably to work, but 2D has no eyes for them, he is busy fighting back a panic attack. Eventually his body is protesting in exhaustion and when he passes a lonely enough and rundown looking car park he decides on hiding in a there corner, hugs his knees to his chest and just sways back and forth for a while, nibbling on his thumb nail. There is a faint but ubiquitous stench of patrol. He finds half a pack of Lucky Lungs and a lighter in the pocket of his jeans and registers it belongs to Murdoc. He had snatched them last night when they were out, but he blocks out these memories and smokes through the pack anyway, ignoring the sign that prohibits doing so.

Gradually calming down, he needs to decide on what he wants to do, he knows he can’t hide forever in a shabby parking lot. This was… He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what he had expected, really. That Murdoc’s compulsion to control every aspect of their lives was gone? That rationality had won over... _bad habits_ just out of nothing? But what was he supposed to make out of this now? They make love in one moment and in the next 2D discovers the evidence that Murdoc’s still not trusting them _at all_ and violating their privacy so deliberately _again_. How could he possibly be so stupid? Maybe it was late enough now to go back and tell the others about his finding. But that would mean he has to tell them about his night with Murdoc too… He thinks through the possible scenarios that would come out of informing Noodle and Russel about the hidden surveillance system. The most prominent is the one in which they kick Murdoc out immediately. The mere thought gives him a nauseous feeling too and tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes. There would be so much entailing this decision. They are planning on releasing a new single and shooting a new video in a month. They wanted to go on a world tour this winter. There are more interviews set up in the next few weeks. How were they supposed to manage all that when they would kick Murdoc out of the band? Would they split up this time before even the promotion of the new album was finished? This would set a new sad record in their band history…

2D ruffles through his hair and exhales the smoke of the last cigarette shakily through his nostrils before he flicks it to the ground. There was only one way now. He needs to talk to Murdoc first, there were just no other possibilities. He doesn’t want to, his insides rebel and tighten at the thought, but everything else was not an option yet. He tries to reassure himself. Maybe Murdoc would talk instead of flipping his shit, how 2D suspected he would. Maybe there was a chance all of this wasn’t what it seemed. Maybe there was a reason, maybe they were still in some kind of danger he isn't even aware of.

When he slowly gets up to make his way back, the world starts to wobble around him. He feels weakened, the connection between his brain and body fuzzy and although he doesn’t have any appetite, his stomach growls loudly at him when he’s making his way back. He realizes how disgusting and sticky he feels. His head starts to hurt and his mouth feels dry. When he passes the Oriental Grill Restaurant he knows isn’t far away their house anymore he briefly stops and thinks, but he finds that he has no money on him anyway and maybe it would also only mean stalling the inevitable.

The nearer he comes back to their home, the more he feels betrayed and angry that this was a decision passed on him and him alone. Why was Murdoc like this? 2D has honestly been so tempted to think the bassist had changed at least a little. When he turns around the corner and the house emerges in eyesight, his feet are slowing down by themselves and he starts to feel antsy. He tries to recall what his therapist would want him to do in a situation like this, but he can’t come up with anything right now, all his thoughts are jumbled and he can’t remember a single strategy. They never came up with a plan for this particular situation anyway and maybe this was the point where he should think about restarting his sessions. How is he supposed to attempt this? Going back into Murdoc’s room and just wake him up? Just pulling the plug to the monitors? And how should he make this known to the others? He can’t possibly leave this unaddressed.

But when he reaches their porch, he can hear a terrible uproar from inside. With trembling fingers on the doorknob, he listens. It’s Murdoc screaming, thrashing, something heavy being shoved. He flinches startled when he hears the bright sound of splintering glass. He’s got a dark notion on what is going on and his instincts tell him to turn around and hide, but he somehow musters up the courage to enter the house again anyway. Fear and guilt grow inside him when he staggers up the corridor to Murdoc’s room.

“Muds, what the HELL is going on with ya?!” he hears Russel blare furiously from his room. Noodle, in one of 2D’s hand-me-down-shirts she uses to sleep in and a serious case of bedhead, is already standing in the doorframe to Murdoc’s room. Her face bears an angered expression, but otherwise she seems composed as ever. 2D reaches the door when there is another splintering and finally a wailing sound. 2D can’t help it, he starts crying immediately as if he was a child watching its parents fight when he sees Murdoc sitting in front of the now bashed in monitors, a baseball bat still in his hand. 2D holds on to the doorframe and just slides down on it, his legs no longer able to support his body.

“What have you two done?” Noodle askes side eying him when she sees his tearstained face and the accusation hurts. Even she could get fed up with their busllshit and 2D can’t blame her. In this moment, Murdoc’s head whips around like he had just now become aware of his spectators. 2D flinches again just from the haunted and livid expression in his eyes.

“WHAT? Isn’t that what you wanted, 2D?! ISN’T IT?” he shouts and gestures around wildly. He throws the bat to the floor with a loud cluttering sound. 2D can only shake his head and whimpers. He doesn’t know what he had wanted anymore, but this was certainly not it. He hadn’t said anything, why was this his fault? Murdoc must have woken up and seen the exposed monitors, 2D nowhere to be found, and then just jumped to conclusions. 2D can feel Russel approach from the corridor. “Not this shit again,” he groans exasperated.

“JUST GET OUT,” Murdoc screams at them suddenly and looking around for something to throw. “Tsk.” Noodle just turns around and leaves them all behind. 2D still is unable to decide on what he wants to do. The urge to run away and the urge to somehow make it up to Murdoc fighting in his head and paralyzing his legs. Russel frees him from this decision when he takes his arm in a firm grip and lifts him up quickly because Murdoc was approaching now. He just drags 2D with him before Murdoc can smash the door in their faces, the bang so loud he could feel a tremble under his feet. “I’ll bring you to your room ‘D, we need to talk about this tonight,” Russel sounds tired as hell. 2D still can’t stop sobbing or think straight and still feels uneasy when he thinks about his room. On their way Noodle, now dressed, passes them with her training bag over her shoulder. She's not saying anything. He knows, it isn’t, but he can’t change he’s feeling like all of this is his fault at this moment.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I have a few ideas about 2D's and Murdoc's state here that I didn't put into this fic because 2D isn't aware or unobservant (e.g. therapy or Murdoc's sex life that I imagine influenced by his Satanism), so if you have questions, just feel free to ask. 
> 
> When I checked the Gorillaz App again for details on Murdocs room, I realized that the Geep was still standing in their garage in the Spirit House, so they must have brought it with them and 2D must've sold it from there.  
> So my timing is wrong, but I like my version better because it makes more sense to me, haha.


End file.
